If your application is rejected you will be notified by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY) 9. Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this application).This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier method’ of some kind can kill you.Below is the text from the form, however, I have created a PDF version of it that is probably more useful. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury).The PDF version –NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: ‘early.’I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls.
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the _____________ B.
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, priest or pastor? Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely – all answers are confidential (That means I won’t tell anyone – I promise): A.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you? Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:______________________________________________________________B.